Making sense of senselessness

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There’s this sinking feeling at the bottom of my stomach. A wave of sadness spread over me, sending chills up my spine as I read the horrific accounts from the Century 16 Theater shooting. I get an unnerving feeling, I’m in shock when I think about all of the times I watched movies as a teenager in that theater.  Aurora has been my home for most of my life and I feel like it’s been broken into and desecrated. I feel traumatized.

Today I feel a whirlwind of questions storming in my head, and no answers that suffice.

This isn’t a “what is this world coming to” moment just because this is the first time in a while that those of us privileged to live in the United States have experienced a tragedy like this doesn’t mean that the rest of the world isn’t experiencing the same thing at this exact moment. Where is our outrage when an innocent family is killed in Iraq, Afghanistan or Pakistan with the use of our tax money? The people of Mexico have seen this kind of senseless violence every day for the last six years, public shootings, beheadings, kidnapping and torture; yet, we don’t speak out against the drug war, we keep quiet? And this is not to diminish the theater shooting, of course we should care and send our love, but we should also care about those tragedies that happen elsewhere.

And I cannot help but feel that if this was a Middle Eastern man words like terrorist would be flying over the airwaves. Hate mongers would use these words to stir the racism that lies beneath the delicate blanket worn by so many in this country. And it’s hard not to believe that if this man would have been Hispanic that immigrants wouldn’t have felt the brunt of collective legislative punishment.  This man terrorized our community and I don’t want to hear that he was a so called lone wolf, acting alone, this man is a terrorist.

I think, like many I’m still trying to grapple with the “why” of this horrendous crime, I can’t seem to make sense out of this senseless violence.  I can’t help but feel like this is exactly what the shooter wants us to feel. Despair, confusion, pain and suffering. But we can’t let this mad man tear further into the fabric of our community. Today, we will mourn and honor those 12 innocent people who just wanted to see a movie.  And start the healing process, because a community united is strong, and because only together can we heal through compassion, understanding and love.

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